cliche;

I was watching shows and reading a series of poems and stories and novels and not-so-novels trying to gather the meaning of life, of my life. I would say that what I’m doing is almost like buddhism, trying to find my inner peace and my inner zen if you will. Others would say what I’m doing, trying to figure out the meaning of my life as opposed to finding out the meaning of all life, selfish or self-absorbed. Unfortunately, I would have to agree with them on occasion. I find myself selfish and self-absorbed, materialistic and not very forthcoming. But I’m just an ordinary human with dreams and desires and all the faults that come with being a creature upon this Earth.

I’ve been reading about romances that can easily be contrived as the greatest of our lifetime, of any lifetime. Romeo and Juliet, Jack and Rose, Frida Kahlo and Diego Rivera. These relationships have been cited to be some of the greatest love stories with the most passionate of love. But all of these have come with a price. Romeo and Juliet, star-crossed lovers where their passion took over their common sense and drove them to killing themselves for the other. Jack and Rose who loved each other but could be never together because he would rather sacrifice himself then go and find another piece of wood to hang off of. Frida and Diego, who loved each other so passionately their writings and their artwork almost replicated their mindsets and their love for each other. But, their love was so strong they drove each mad with jealousy and it was a constant on-off relationship that drove each of them to depression.

Why would someone want a love that drives them from common sense? Why would someone want a love that involves giving up your life for someone else? Why would someone want to have a love so passionate that no matter what the other person does, they will always get under your skin?

I feel like I’m too young to understand how something so great can be so terrible and how something so terrible is seen as beautiful and tragic in our eyes. And at once I thought that something like that iswas beautiful. I love, but sometimes love just isn’t worth it.