my friend was ghosted and this is what i told her;

(For the sake of this article I’ll use the participle of ‘he’ and if you’re into women feel free to imagine this as a ‘she’)

Be upset today, hell, you can even be upset tomorrow. But chin-up. This guy is only a passing fling and the way that he ghosted you is not a tell on you; he ghosted you because of himself and his own insecurities.

He does not know how clearly beautiful, intelligent, fierce and brave and independent you are, and he’s missing out. You’re living your life, you’re living the dream. Nobody can tell you to live life happily or to the fullest except for yourself.

Someone once told me that change is the only constant in life. This is just one of the many changes you’ll face in the week, the month, your entire life. You’ll never stop growing and changing and life will continue to throw curve balls your way. But one day, this brilliant and beautiful man will take you by storm. He’ll see you and take the good qualities and the bad qualities and love you unconditionally. He won’t take you for granted (most of the time) and he’ll be able to take your bad with your good. And you’ll be happy yet so incredibly terrified because you have the knowledge that you have the heart of someone putty in your hands. You won’t know what to do but you’ll take this relationship by the horns and you’ll be so glad that you took this step by yourself and for yourself.

This might not happen today, tomorrow, or even the next day. It may not even happen this year. But it will happen because beautiful souls like yours don’t live life without someone just as amazing as yourself by your side.

Things aren’t okay today and they probably won’t be okay tomorrow either. But things will be okay eventually and that’s the guiding light, the positivity that you need to work towards. Don’t let this one guy keep you down because you’re the star, the producer, the author, the playmaker of your own story.

Don’t ever feel empty or less than because of some guy or some other person. The only person who can make you feel this way is yourself, but why should you feel empty? There is so much love for you from your family and your friends. If you feel empty, we’ll be here to fill your gaps until you find someone who compliments you. You don’t need completion because you’re already complete and perfect as is. Any emptiness you may feel are just figments of your imagination and your loved ones, we shall fill those gaps with the love we have for you.

Fall in love with someone else. Fall in love over and over. You’re young or you’re old. It doesn’t matter, you’ll continue falling in love everyday. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel like you’re the only one who feels the way you do. Because you are the only one who knows what you’re truly feeling.

Take your insecurities, your fears, your deepest worries, take these feelings and use them to help pave your way through life. Take these problems you hold and use them as a battle-axe to break through your problems. You won’t ever be truly separated from fear, however, don’t let that control you. Control your fear and you’ll be happier in the long run.

It’s won’t be easy. It’s not easy, but nothing in life is truly easy. Be terrified, be happy, be you.


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