my friend was ghosted and this is what i told her;

(For the sake of this article I’ll use the participle of ‘he’ and if you’re into women feel free to imagine this as a ‘she’)

Be upset today, hell, you can even be upset tomorrow. But chin-up. This guy is only a passing fling and the way that he ghosted you is not a tell on you; he ghosted you because of himself and his own insecurities.

He does not know how clearly beautiful, intelligent, fierce and brave and independent you are, and he’s missing out. You’re living your life, you’re living the dream. Nobody can tell you to live life happily or to the fullest except for yourself.

Someone once told me that change is the only constant in life. This is just one of the many changes you’ll face in the week, the month, your entire life. You’ll never stop growing and changing and life will continue to throw curve balls your way. But one day, this brilliant and beautiful man will take you by storm. He’ll see you and take the good qualities and the bad qualities and love you unconditionally. He won’t take you for granted (most of the time) and he’ll be able to take your bad with your good. And you’ll be happy yet so incredibly terrified because you have the knowledge that you have the heart of someone putty in your hands. You won’t know what to do but you’ll take this relationship by the horns and you’ll be so glad that you took this step by yourself and for yourself.

This might not happen today, tomorrow, or even the next day. It may not even happen this year. But it will happen because beautiful souls like yours don’t live life without someone just as amazing as yourself by your side.

Things aren’t okay today and they probably won’t be okay tomorrow either. But things will be okay eventually and that’s the guiding light, the positivity that you need to work towards. Don’t let this one guy keep you down because you’re the star, the producer, the author, the playmaker of your own story.

Don’t ever feel empty or less than because of some guy or some other person. The only person who can make you feel this way is yourself, but why should you feel empty? There is so much love for you from your family and your friends. If you feel empty, we’ll be here to fill your gaps until you find someone who compliments you. You don’t need completion because you’re already complete and perfect as is. Any emptiness you may feel are just figments of your imagination and your loved ones, we shall fill those gaps with the love we have for you.

Fall in love with someone else. Fall in love over and over. You’re young or you’re old. It doesn’t matter, you’ll continue falling in love everyday. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel like you’re the only one who feels the way you do. Because you are the only one who knows what you’re truly feeling.

Take your insecurities, your fears, your deepest worries, take these feelings and use them to help pave your way through life. Take these problems you hold and use them as a battle-axe to break through your problems. You won’t ever be truly separated from fear, however, don’t let that control you. Control your fear and you’ll be happier in the long run.

It’s won’t be easy. It’s not easy, but nothing in life is truly easy. Be terrified, be happy, be you.

fighter;

I think what people don’t understand about the me now and the me ‘before’ is that I went from being a crier to a fighter.

I won’t lie and tell you I’ve always been strong or that I’m even strong now. I won’t lie to you and tell you that I don’t get depressed or that I don’t get angry or that I don’t cry. I won’t lie.

youth in america;

I.
i would love to see your blood run rampant
to see if it would run ochre like mine-
do you bleed ochre? or turbid yellow like the
shade of your skin

it is your fault this way i feel
yellow sallow skin sinking-
permeating perfume

violence is an art and you are my greatest
piece

i am not violent because i am not violent
violent sometimes not always violent
right now violent for you i am violent
you make me violent i swear you do
violent i am not

II.
you took me by my hair and screamed
“Chink”
like the sound of my ancestors building rail after rail
pulling america together while america was tearing us apart

“Zip”
like the sound of my ancestors as their heads split into two
like they were being unzipped like a jacket
with the hum of the M1 Garrand warmly vibrating within your ancestors hands

III.
i would like to call you a youth in asia
but you are a youth in america and we don’t run mercy for people like you

IV.
i never expected to cry so much when the kids would walk away from me
from the sight of my shumai, gyoza, and ‘worm-like’ lo mein
leaving me with a ten seat radius around the lunch table

i never expected to cry so much when the adults would tell me
you’re not american, you’re asian
and i would say but i am american i was born in america

i never expected to cry so much when the kids would tell me
you’re not american, you’re asian
you’re not chinese, you’re asian

and i would like to say that there is a distinct difference between just being asian and just being chinese
and i would like to say there is a difference between my ethnicity and my nationality
and i would like to say that i said something

but no one would stay to listen except the silence